TRUE LOVE FOR VALENTINE´S DAY

  I´m a do-it-yourself gal. I apply the approach to love also. A true, deep love comes from within, but it has to be kept alive, as life keeps changing.
  I´m no romantic, but I´ve been fortunate to experience a genuine love that conquers all for the past 19 1/2 years. And it´s still growing stronger. How the heck is that possible?! I never dreamed of a husband, kids, or family life, let alone everlasting love.
  As we approach our 20th anniversary, I´ve done some summing up on how to keep love flourishing through thick and thin.

Check it out on my column Nelland Living!

  Love is precious, cherish and pamper it for the sake of yourself! Happy and love-filled Valentine´s Day weekend!

VALENTINE´S DAY GIFT TIP

  Valentine´s Day is practically just around the corner, and it´s time to start thinking about how to show love and appreciation for that special someone (or yourself!).
  I´ll be darned if these brand new aromatherapy earrings I made don´t do the trick, along with some sensual ylang-ylang essential oil! You can get them from my little shop Nelland Boutique for only 20 e/pair.

Sweet pink hearts are for the younger generation of lovely women.

And these beautiful classic red ones for the more experienced chicks.

  Love is the greatest power in the world, so let´s celebrate it to the fullest!
  Have a love-filled and most romantic upcoming Valentine´s Day! 

PRE-CHRISTMAS PARTY

  My husband and I rarely go out to parties in town. But the other weekend we did manage to do that, just the two of us! We staid in a hotel in midtown Helsinki, and fully enjoyed grown-up time together. We did a tiny bit of shopping, ate and drank well, laid on the beds being lazy and watching tv with no interruptions, had some wine, and finally went in to the bar downstairs to do some jamming. I met a few of my husband´s colleagues, whom I´d never seen before, and it was so cool getting to know them a bit. You know, to get faces to the already familiar names I´d heard so many stories about over the years.

Our hotel room was right next to the presidential suite, so the view could not get any better than that. (Remember this tunic I made last spring?)

It´s just a shame that at this time of year it gets dark at 4pm, so we could not enjoy this full view for very long. But who cares really, we weren´t there for the view initially!  =)

Learning to take selfies, which I´ve always found narcissistic really. But since everybody is doing it nowadays, it´s probably ok...

Here´s my party look for the evening. I wore a pair of black suede pants with the top (which I also wore a year ago to a girls´ night out).

  The rest of the evening was spent in the restaurant, pub, and bar mingling, dancing, and laughing. We staid up until 4.30am! I can´t even remember the last time I staid awake for that long, let alone in a bar! Good times!

  A night out with my husband, staying overnight in a hotel (with him =), and spending a lazy next morning is what I call luxury. When you have small kids, it is easy to just go by their demands, serving them, and forgetting about yourself. It is crucial to a good relationship to get some time alone with your significant other, preferably away from home. Because you´re not just mommies and daddies, you are also "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" who do have that spark there. And that spark needs to be lit up every now and then to strengthen your love and appreciation to each other. At least that´s how it works with us. The roots of a good family lay in the good relationship between mommy and daddy. It should not be valued less important than the kids´ needs. We should all be equal, kids and grown-ups. That´s what I teach to my kids too.

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE?

  You go back to where you came from before birth (and I´m not talking about anyone´s genitals =). That´s my interpretation of it. No biggie, and I don´t want to spend my life concentrating on my after life (which in my opinion is the purpose of many religions).

  My nearly-ten-year-old son came home from school today with a friend of his (11 years old). Soon the friend´s phone rang and all he said during the conversation was "oh dear" and "oh no". The phone call ended to his words "well, call me if you want company". We were all in our kitchen, so I could not help hearing. I did not dare ask him what it was, it was not my business after all. But he shared it with us: his neighbor, a 16-year-old teenage boy had died today. It was the teen´s sister, one of his closest friends, who had called him.
 Last Friday the teen boy had lost control of his motorbike and hit a tree, hard. He had been speeding and his helmet had flown off during the crash. He got hurt badly and rushed to the hospital. He was in critical condition until today.

  Usually these stories end well. Thanks to the amazing medical care these days people recover, get well, and continue with their usual lives. But not this time. It was a surprise.

  I did not know the boy, but knew well his sister - my son´s classmate. She is one of the most cheerful and lively girl I know. I hope her positivity will carry her through these hard times. Considering there are only six kids my son´s his class, and fifteen in their school altogether, this tragedy is major. We live in a small village in the countryside where almost everybody knows each other, so it is needless to say the whole village is in mourning.
  Soon after the phone call my son and his friend got another one: they were invited to go the place where the accident had occurred in the middle of the village. All the teenagers and kids, who had known the boy, had gathered there to support each other. They held hands, hugged, lit candles, and brought flowers. This happened immediately the sad news spread. I was positively surprised by how compassionate and thoughtful children can be in a situation like this.

  I was prepared to answer the question of "what happens after you die", once again. But it did not pop up. We have discussed the matter with my son many times before, so maybe he has his thoughts sorted out already.

  Consequently in the same Friday night another accident had taken place in our peaceful village: a car crash. A middle-aged man had run off the road with a friend along in his pick-up truck. But for that there was a reason: he was quite heavily drunk. Both men were hospitalized, but their lives are not threatened.

  Also the news of Robin Williams reached us; he has committed suicide. So sad.

  Childhood is protected and treasured to the best of our knowledge. We grownups say, after looking back in time, that it only lasts so little. We have plenty of time to live the grownup life, there is no rush.
  How about thinking the same about death? That we should protect and treasure life to the best of our knowledge. I bet the dead say, after looking back in time, that it only lasts so little!

LUXURIOUS DAY

  Being alone is the best luxury for me these days. I´m a mother of two- and a nine-year-olds and happily married to the man of my life. They are the most important things to me. But right after them comes me, myself, and I. I love myself too. And I need time to myself too. Luckily my family lets me have it whenever possible. When mommy is happy, the whole family is happier too. It is not selfishness, it is a fact. Mommies need to take care of themselves too.

  Recently I was able to enjoy one of those important moments of solitude. Three full days in fact. Naturally I headed to our summer cabin to enjoy summer. On one of those days I decided to head to the nearby town, where I used to live as a child and a teenager, to refresh memories and check out the little boutiques there.

I started the warm summer day out by having a relaxed breakfast on the pier. 

I could start daydreaming watching these beautiful clouds on the horizon.

After a short ride, first on our boat and then by my car, I landed Rauma, a town I used to live in and have not visited for nearly three years. This view is from the old part of town, and in this particular picture the 19th century atmosphere is exceptionally well presented because there are no cars, traffic signs, people, or anything reminding of the present modern day.

A fun piece of art in the canal flowing through the town. I´m glad I have not encountered anything like that while swimming in the sea. I did get scared twice this day. First there was a bee crawling up my back inside my grey summer dress, but miraculously I was able to slip out of it without getting stung by the bee! And second, I almost stepped on a viper at boat harbor. There are snakes on our little island too, but so far every one I have seen was a non-venomous grass snake.

Next it was time to hit my ever favorite second hand store by the Red Cross. They operate solely on voluntary workers and sell stuff people have donated. The prices are ridiculously low. The store has been there forever, and I remember shopping here already in my teens. I must admit the stuff back then was older, nicer and more retro. I guess the selection just reveals that the lifespan of goods is much shorter now than in the nineties.

Would this look okay with jeans? Why not, it´s only 50 cents, and all I have to do back home is to take it in on the back a bit. Worth a try.

By now I was hungry. I heard that an old classmate of mine, whom I have not seen or been in contact with since 1989, had opened a cafeteria a few years back. So naturally I headed there to support her business by getting me a sinfully buttery and sugary pastry. After all that walking and shopping, I definitely needed these calories, right? =) I so rarely go out to eat, that this definitely was luxurious! And by chance I even saw a glimpse of that old classmate of mine! She had not changed too much since we were... um... eleven, twelve.  =) I have, but naturally only for the better!

Back at the summer house. It was so hot that I just had to jump into the sea right away to cool down. While in the water, this flock of wild geese flew by close to me. I could hear their wings swish and all. It was so cool, and I felt somewhat in tune with nature. Awesome.

After skinny-dipping in the sea I dried off in the late afternoon sun. I only dare to do this when the neighbors aren´t there. =)

In the evening I saw the most adoring sight: a pair of horned grebes feeding their young together (darn my snapshot camera, I could not get a closer picture). That made me miss my own kids...

  When my family came to join me in the cabin, I was fully charged and happy to meet and greet them again. What a difference it makes to occasionally just be left alone for a moment! That´s a big problem in our Western culture. Evening out the hectic times and the lonely times of life. When we are young, we are too busy to do anything. And when we are old, we have too much time and nothing to do. Peace of mind comes from balancing these two, or recognizing the deal and trying to balance it the best we can anyway. Easier said than done, I know.

JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU- GIFTS

  Isn´t it enough occasion, loving somebody, to give them a present? I sure think so. Love is the most valuable gift of all, and it can´t be bought, but in second comes time and effort put on making others happy.

  Yesterday I spent every bit of my "spare" time to make these little gifts to the three most important people in my life:

To keep my family warm; gloves and a beanie. Earlier I drew the outline of my kids´ hands on a piece of  paper to make the pattern for these gloves. My husband, on the other hand, has such "warm blood" in his vains, that he rarely wears gloves, so I opted for a beanie for him.

I had a scrap piece of thick, black fleece stashed away to make these (I hope it does not make it all sound flat now! In my opinion it only adds to the value of things if they are made of recycled material!). The designs are simple and plain (just like my love =) and thus easy to wear. This button is the only detail. Especially with men, simplicity goes a long way (and I´m not referring to their emotional capacity now... =).

  For no special reason, just because I love you!

POLKA DOT PRESENTS

  Happy birthday to the greatest Mom in the world - mine!

 She wished I get her a t-shirt for present. A t-shirt that I thought would suit her and her style. She is in her fifties, but her weakness is everything girly and fairytale-like cuteness. Often I wish she would tone down and streamline her style a bit, to bring it to the 21st century. =) But that´s just my opinion, and more than anything I´m so happy that she does have a style overall (not a quality that can be taken for granted...).

  My mom also sews occasionally for herself. Her most recent creation is a navy blue skirt with two white stripes running across the hemline. I decided to make a t-shirt to suit her new skirt. Like this:

Polka dots and puff sleeves are perfect for her! Like me, my Mother is also a pear-shape, and I know this model fits her body well.

My daughter is lucky, she got yet another "leftover dress"! When I gave my Mom the present, my daughter was already wearing her dress. What a surprise it was to my Mom to find that they could now wear matching outfits. She became a little emotional even. I love her!

This dress is an awesome wear at our summer cabin.

Contrast stitching brightens the garments up and makes them look more finished up.

I had just enough of this zig zag string in my stash to make it run all the way around the hem.

The puffed sleeves add volume to the shoulders balancing out the lower half. A huge feminine bottom runs in our family on my Mom´s side like a curse. We do our best to cope with it...

  In the present I gave to my Mom, was also a sepia-colored photograph of her and my kids hugging each other. They all had perfectly happy smiles on their faces and pure love just oozed from them. (Great, now I´m getting emotional... I´ve become such a cry baby after having my kids!   =)

MY WEDDING RING

  I found it!

  It was missing for nearly two years. So not typical for me to lose anything, let alone something as important as my wedding ring. The ring. The single one I have ever had. It represents both, engagement and marriage. (As a teen I decided to wear only one ring, I thought that would be more stylish.) And I have had it since I was eighteen (which, of course, is not that long ago... =). And  yes, with the same man.

  The first time I ever met my husband-to-be was an incredible coincindence. It´s a complicated story, which I will not get into right now... In addition, I was just about to move to New York for a while. Which I did, so  it was a miracle our relationship lasted through the difficult beginning overall. That was the time right before cellular phones and internet broke through, so we kept in touch by telephones and letters. Oh dear, I still remember how we had a set weekday and time when we would call each other. And I missed him so much! A mere boy, whom I´d only known for five months before heading to NY.

  And here we are now, so many more years later, and I still have that ring in my finger I got from him right before going to New York. When we got engaged that is. Seems unbelievable. Time and life around us has changed, but still we remain together. And happily so. We have been through thick and thin, grown up together, had kids, and all that. But I feel like I haven´t changed all that much, inside or out. Hopefully gotten a little wiser, but that´s all.

  It will be interesting to see what life shall bring upon us in the future. I have never taken it for granted that we shall be together for the rest of our lives. No one can guarantee that. We have to be active ourselves that we remain happy and respectful of each other. A good sense of humour, compromises, and putting our significant other first at times has taken us this far.

 I do hope to stay on this road for a long time. But I need to keep in mind that if one day there are more rocky roads than smooth rides, it might be best to take another path. This I consider an important rule, which also guides me towards cherishing our relationship, and not taking it for granted.

So what happened to the ring? I knew I had lost it while inside the house. But where?! A few days ago I dug out my old body exfoliating gloves. I love to scrub my skin, but hardly ever find the time for it. Obviously, since the last time I did so was that nearly two years ago! When I slipped the gloves on, I felt something hard in the tip of the ring finder. My wedding ring! Unbelievable. And just a few weeks ago I went through stuff in our bathroom, throwing away things I haven´t needed in a long time. I had those gloves in my hand, on their way to the trash, but then decided to give them another chance. If I could find the time to pamper myself sometime in the future. I´m so glad I did!